On the morning of February 1, 2021, right before waking up, I heard a condescending voice say, “You don’t play that noise well.” When I opened my eyes, I rebuked it. I have long ago learned how to discern the voice of the enemy from the voice of God. Yet, my thoughts went back to the night before as I practiced the violin in preparation for something. I realized that the enemy was simply trying to distract me from moving forward in the purpose God is calling me in this season with my music and teaching business.
For too long into my adult years, I had believed the lie that I wasn’t good enough and went about the purpose of encouraging others to realize their dreams. I encouraged my husband that he is good enough to venture out to bring purpose to his vision. I ensured our son to be good enough in his musical talents and abilities to inspire and help bring about a breakthrough in others. I continued the purpose of casting vision through my teaching ability to help my students and their parents grow in their musical skills, thus showing them that they, too, are good enough. But there was a part of me that was feeling empty and unfulfilled in walking fully in the purpose to which I’d been called.
Well, a few years ago, I stepped into my calling, realizing that I, too, am good enough! Things have been going well. However, fast forward to that voice I heard on February 1. I thought it had to do with how I’d been practicing the violin, cello, and piano to prepare for something, and the enemy was trying to bring up a recall and snatch away what I’ve been purposed to do. But here is what happened next as I received revelation into what the enemy was trying to distract me in.
Most mornings at 6:30, I listen to a live devotional streamed on Facebook by the para-ministry Morning Glory Prayer Warriors of FEW II Ministries, led by former pastor Fredrick E. Wilson, Jr. (also a worship leader). That morning, he read from I Cor. 13:1-4. When he read the first verse, I froze at the word “noise” as I remembered what that voice said to me. (Please note that some versions of the Bible reference the word sounding, clanging, or loud instead of noise.)
In I Cor. 13:1-3, Paul makes the statement that operating in your gifts with a lack of love is noise, and you gain nothing. (For a look at what gifts he is talking about, refer to Chapter 12.) I asked myself the question: Am I operating in my gifts without love? If so, it’s just noise. And loveless noise doesn’t sound good or promote good health because it operates without boundaries. The boundary we are to operate from is love. In his commentary of Chapter 13, David Guzik offers this quote, which speaks to defining noise:
People of little religion are always noisy; he who has not the love of God and man filing his heart is like an empty wagon coming violently down a hill: it makes a great noise because there is nothing in it,” (Josiah Gregory, cited in Clarke).
A good indicator of how you are bringing your gift is the transformation and effect on your students, audience, or congregation. Are they growing? Are they being changed? Are they daily ingesting and digesting what they are eating to show fruit? But what exactly is noise? Well, from the Oxford Dictionary, it is defined as “A sound, especially one that is loud or unpleasant, or that causes a disturbance.” What???!!! Think about that. In the administration of your spiritual gifts, is the sound you are making unpleasant, thus causing a disturbance to your audience? That’s deep and convicting!
Interestingly, the voice that came from the enemy (and sometimes it’s your own stinking thinking) can help to set your heart aright if you are quick to recognize it and then discern, dismantle, and ready yourself in God’s word. While the enemy tried to have his way in my heart that morning, a partnership in the Gospel helped me remember to keep my love on! (Thank you, Pastor FEW!)
Scripture to chew on: Psalm 51:10-13
Prayer: Lord, forgive my family and me where we have not operated from love and in love for those around us, especially those in the Kingdom. Please help us to be guided by your power and not by our own strength, in Jesus’ name.
Reference
Guzik, David, “Agape Love.” Accessed February 4, 2021, https://blueletterbible.org/Comm/guzik_david/StudyGuide2017-1Cr/1Cr-13.cfm